How to Help Young People Belong to the Church

I believe there are two crucial transitions in a young person’s life where adults can come alongside teenagers and make a huge impact. The first is around age 12-13 when a child becomes a teenager and the second is when a teenager becomes a young adult around age 18-22. 

Children see the world, for better or worse, largely through their parent’s eyes when they are young.  This begins to change as children hit puberty and become teenagers.  They begin to form more of their own opinions and begin searching for their own identity and place in the world.  This is a major transition as they are no longer all kid, and not yet fully teenager.  Sometimes if you observe closely you can literally see them switching modes from child to teenager within minutes.  Because this is a major transition children of this age are asking a ton of questions and are constantly looking for answers as they seek to relate to the world.  Adults can come alongside kids at this age and build relationships with them and help them through this transition.  In the church kids at this age are making the transition from children’s programs to youth programs.  Now is the time to help kids feel like they belong in 'big church' as they move away from the structured and sheltered confines of the children’s ministry.

The second major transition is the shift from teenager to young adult.  This is another crucial moment where adults and churches can make or break a teenager’s relationship with the church.  Teenagers are graduating highschool and choosing careers or post-secondary education.  Major life shaping decisions are made in this phase.  Making this age even more crucial is the transition that teenagers face in the church.  By graduation and age 18 or so teenagers are too old for the church youth ministry program and begin to transition out.  What is important to realize here is that if a person has grown up in the church they have been part of a program tailor made for their age category for their whole lives.  After graduating from youth ministry teens are suddenly part of 'big church' with all the variety and age ranges that entails.  Some churches, especially smaller ones, do not have a specific young adults program, so these graduates are thrown into the mixer.  If they have not been welcomed at church and built a few significant relationships with adults during their childhood and youth ministry years, they will probably simply leave church. 

There is abundant material written on how many young adults are leaving the church these days and I would contend that part of the reason is that teenagers have not found their place in the church outside of the youth ministry program. (To be fair, a number of these young adults who leave church return to church later in life.)  Youth ministries need to do a better job on integrating youth ministry into the ministry of the whole body so that teens are exposed to ‘big church’ often and become comfortable in church outside of the youth ministry program.  We can all play our part by building a few relationships with teenagers in our churches so that when they graduate highschool and the youth ministry program, they don’t graduate from church.

Two major transitions.  Two incredible opportunities to shape upcoming generations.  What is your role?